“

You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.

If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”

On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.

The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.

There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?

Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.

This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.

So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.

For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.

” —

an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)

Very interesting!

(via qts)

This perfectly articulates something I’ve been trying to explain to some of my friends about living in a city. People give me the old, “Lighten up, he’s giving you a compliment!” No, he’s not. When I hear something like, “Hey sexy!” being yelled at me, it makes me think that all the person cares about is my physical being, and therefore they’re less likely to care about my mental and emotional being in any sexual setting. Not okay.

If a guy gives me a friendly smile and waves, and I wave back, it’s fine if he comes up to me and starts a conversation. If someone goes, “Hey cute thang, what’s your name?” while I’m walking and wearing headphones, I’m immediately freaked because you’ve crossed so many lines just by saying that. First, by listening to music while walking home, I’m saying I don’t want to be disturbed. Second, by walking quickly, I’m saying I don’t want to be stopped. Third, do not EVER refer to women by some nickname in reference to their physicality before you even know them. It’s street harassment.

What terrifies me is how common this still is.

motherjones:

Context: Rick Santorum pledges to repeal 130,000 legally recognized same-sex marriages if elected president.

Issues like this cause an SNL-esque session of “REALLY?! with Carly and Glenn” at the dinner table at home.

see also:

• Rush Limbaugh
• pretty much any GOP candidate this year

BLACK MARCH
Thursday, March 1st 2012 to Saturday 31st March 2012

With the continuing campaigns for Internet-censoring litigation such as SOPA and PIPA, and the closure of sites such as Megaupload under allegations of ‘piracy’ and ‘conspiracy’ the time has come to take a stand against music, film and media companies’ lobbyists.

The only way is to hit them where it truly hurts.

Their profit margins.

March 2012 is the end of the 1st quarter in economic reports worldwide.

Do not buy a single record. Do not download a single song, legally or illegally. Do not go to see a single film in cinemas, or download a copy, Do not buy a DVD in the stores. Do not buy a videogame. Do not buy a single book or magazine.

Wait the 4 weeks to buy them in April: see the film later, etc. Holding out for just 4 weeks, maximum, will leave a gaping hole in media and entertainment companies’ profits for the 1st quarter, an economic hit which will in turn be observed by governments worldwide as stocks and shares will blip from a large enough loss of incomes.

This action can give a statement of intent:

”We will not tolerate the Media Industries’ lobbying for legistation which will censor the internet.”

nedhepburn:

parachuteshark:

no no god damn it fuck you

Why? What good will come of this? Are you high? Because I’M HIGH and I STILL disagree with this bullshit

The Federal Bureau of Investigation moved against a group of suspected online pirates Thursday, targeting the popular file-sharing website megaupload.com a day after Washington lawmakers were besieged by complaints about legislation designed to crack down on the online sharing of pirated copies of music, movies and other material, people familiar with the matter said.

Investigators said there was no connection between arrests in their two-year investigation and the political firestorm that erupted this week over a pending vote on the Stop Online Piracy Act.

This is a big deal, and even if it’s not related to SOPA, the timing certainly does a lot to put it on the minds of those worried about the law.

“One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country. Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s okay, contraception is okay. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.” —

Rick Santorum

santorum, bringing america and women’s rights back a couple centuries

(via okayfinemaya)

Here’s what really gets me about statements like these:

1. Birth control and contraception has OTHER PURPOSES than helping to prevent pregnancy - protection against sexually-transmitted infections and diseases, acne control, regulation of the menstrual cycle, etc.
2. People who use contraception are usually not doing so so they can “do things in a sexual realm…counter to how things are supposed to be”. They’re doing it so they can have sex in a loving relationship without running the risk of having a child they may not be able to care for OR contracting a disease. It’s not like, “Oh wow, here’s a condom, let’s have orgytastic crazy sex all the time!”
3. Rick Santorum, you’re a MAN. You know what’s funny about men? They can’t get pregnant. Not at all. So really, men have no right to make any judgement calls about whether or not birth control is “okay”. Back off me, back off my body.

sirmitchell:

I’m having a really hard time understanding my country right now. I’m seeing an overwhelming amount of apathy, laced with immaturity, on a level that is unbearable.

Democrats, Republicans, and every other bastard in Washington (minus a few like Kucinich, Paul, Sanders) do not give a single shit for any one of us unless it makes them richer, or more powerful. For years they’ve continued on a path that makes them, and their friends richer, while letting the people they are elected to represent starve economically & figuratively.

Two months ago today, a small group of people started to protest, they’ve had enough. They decide to finally take a stand, in a way no politician has in decades. The small group, begins to grow. Do we welcome them with open arms? Some do, some don’t care and the rest condemn them. Call them lazy, smelly, unpatriotic, hippie scum, liberal idiots with no direction. I’m sorry, I thought this was the fucking Land Of Opportunity. What kind of bullshit American Dream exists where you graduate school with $80k in student debt, can’t find a job, can’t afford health insurance and when you stand up to protest, you are met with rubber bullets, pepper spray, and batons. Yet hardly anyone cares that their friends, family and neighbors rights are being tossed in the shitter. We have a President who openly supported Egypts right to free assembly, but doesn’t seem to care one bit that police across the country are playing batting practice on peaceful protesters. It’s entirely unacceptable. 

I think it’s about time we redefine what “patriotic” is, because it’s not about wearing t-shirts will Bald Eagles breaking through them on fire holding an American Flag in it’s talons while shooting fireworks and drinking Bud Light, the official beer of freedom. Patriotism is caring enough about your country that you will stand outside for two months straight in an attempt to make a better, stronger, smarter country where everyone can succeed, and not just the ones who can afford a lobbyist in D.C.